Introduction [Pssst: that means first post]
If there's one thing you can say about Ryan, he sure is hygienic.
If there's two things you can say about Ryan, it's that he's impulsive, witty, dangerously good-looking, cynical, intelligent beyond words, and absolutely stunning in bed. Ok, that's more than two things. And none of them are true. But you're still reading anyway, so that's a good sign. It shows that you don't mind lies. And that's what this blog is all about- lies. Lies and some good Matza Ball soup.
If there's one thing you can say for my rather bizarre sense of humor, it's that it's random. I don't claim to be funny [except occasionally, and purely by accident] and I don't claim to be witty. What I do say, however, is that I am certainly a narcissist, and anyone who knows me can attest to that. Being the self-centered prick I am, I have decided to start this blog for the purpose of making semi-entertaining, sometimes thought provoking, possibly funny [if I pay someone enough to write the jokes for me] little articles for my friends and family to read as they mourn the Ryan they've always known, watching me piss my entire future in writing down the drain right here over the internet.
If you're still reading this, read on, because little pearls of wisdom, like the spittle that flies from my mouth as I'm talking to you, may show up here or there. Yes, I realize that this whole post so far has been arrogant. I'm fine with that. I've accepted who I am, have you?
In any event, this is my blog. Love it or hate it, embrace it or shun it, this is my little corner of the internet. And like herpes, it never really goes away, no matter how much medication you take or how hard you scratch. It may go into submission for a short period, but the minute you think it's gone, just as you're THIS CLOSE to putting that itch cream away for a couple of days, BAM, it comes right back with a venegeance.
Oh, and since everyone here will remain annonymous, to my good friend whom I ripped the name "giphangster" from...I'm sorry. Little did you know when you told me it was ok to use it as part of my "Myspace" profile and e-mail address that it would eventually be attached to something as mundane and sad as this blog. You can hit me with your car the next time I see you. I promise.
For the rest of you- I hope you enjoy. Please post your comments, concerns, questions, phone numbers [if you're female, cute, over the age of 18 and under the age of 50], threats, insults, declarations of love and hopeless sexual fantasies regarding me.
If there's two things you can say about Ryan, it's that he's impulsive, witty, dangerously good-looking, cynical, intelligent beyond words, and absolutely stunning in bed. Ok, that's more than two things. And none of them are true. But you're still reading anyway, so that's a good sign. It shows that you don't mind lies. And that's what this blog is all about- lies. Lies and some good Matza Ball soup.
If there's one thing you can say for my rather bizarre sense of humor, it's that it's random. I don't claim to be funny [except occasionally, and purely by accident] and I don't claim to be witty. What I do say, however, is that I am certainly a narcissist, and anyone who knows me can attest to that. Being the self-centered prick I am, I have decided to start this blog for the purpose of making semi-entertaining, sometimes thought provoking, possibly funny [if I pay someone enough to write the jokes for me] little articles for my friends and family to read as they mourn the Ryan they've always known, watching me piss my entire future in writing down the drain right here over the internet.
If you're still reading this, read on, because little pearls of wisdom, like the spittle that flies from my mouth as I'm talking to you, may show up here or there. Yes, I realize that this whole post so far has been arrogant. I'm fine with that. I've accepted who I am, have you?
In any event, this is my blog. Love it or hate it, embrace it or shun it, this is my little corner of the internet. And like herpes, it never really goes away, no matter how much medication you take or how hard you scratch. It may go into submission for a short period, but the minute you think it's gone, just as you're THIS CLOSE to putting that itch cream away for a couple of days, BAM, it comes right back with a venegeance.
Oh, and since everyone here will remain annonymous, to my good friend whom I ripped the name "giphangster" from...I'm sorry. Little did you know when you told me it was ok to use it as part of my "Myspace" profile and e-mail address that it would eventually be attached to something as mundane and sad as this blog. You can hit me with your car the next time I see you. I promise.
For the rest of you- I hope you enjoy. Please post your comments, concerns, questions, phone numbers [if you're female, cute, over the age of 18 and under the age of 50], threats, insults, declarations of love and hopeless sexual fantasies regarding me.
posted by giphangster at 3:00 AM
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